Balladine Avemore

Vaster took a drag from his cigarette. The housekeeper stood next to the display cases, scrutinizing Vaster’s every move.

“How can you stand working for a little fuck like that?”

“You’re funny.” The housekeeper smirked. “Sometimes I can’t.”

“Are you the “B. Avemore” from the calling card?”

“Balladine.”

“Never heard that name before.” Vaster took another draw. “If you ever want a better working environment than this flammable fucking woodpile, I know plenty of people who will pay very well for skilled help.”

“Sorry. I have fifteen starcycles left on my contract.”

Vaster smirked. “Ric can’t afford actual paid help, huh? Gotta go for indebted servants?”

Balladine smirked back. “Things could be worse.”

“Yeah, yeah. Things can always get worse.”

Balladine nodded. “Stars willing, they won’t.”

Vaster finished his cigarette and put it out in the ashtray near the chair.

“How did you manage to get that display case open last time you were here?”

Vaster laughed.

“The only reason you’re allowed in here anymore is because Ric thinks you’re my boyfriend.” Balladine swung the fake medal back and forth. “Give me the provenance papers to file, and then we can feed my birds or play cards or something until he wakes up.”

Vaster grinned. “Wouldn’t it be more realistic and convincing if we were, you know… an actual couple?”

Balladine stared into space past Vaster for a few arcseconds, her face blank. She finally spoke: “That’s funny. You’re funny.”

Vaster faked a laugh. “Get me a whisky, then.”

“Help yourself. You must know where the liquor cabinet is by now.”

“If our relationship is just a show for Ric, then when the curtain’s down, you’re really the housekeeper, and I’m really your houseguest.” Vaster smirked. “Make it a double.”

Balladine stood in front of the artifact display case, her eyes drifted off to the side, focused on a point past Vaster’s face. One hand fidgeted with the large plaited braid that fell from the back of her head down over her shoulder. A silver chain holding a reliquary pendant swung back and forth in her other hand.

“I found this in the display case.” Balladine spun the reliquary around, revealing a miniature engraved portrait on the reverse side. “There’s no paperwork for it in Ric’s files.”

Vaster’s heart flopped in his chest. “Yeah, yeah, that proves it, then! Ric’s the counterfeiter!”

“Yeah.” Still staring past Vaster, Balladine let out a slight smirk. “Ric’s the counterfeiter.” Balladine flipped the pendant up, catching it in her hand. “He thinks I’m spending my free shift out on a date with you this arc. Let’s go through his files again.”

“Is he sleeping now? What if he wakes up?”

“He won’t.” Balladine pulled her braid down from over her shoulder, letting it fall down her back. “I slipped him some hullgill. He’ll be asleep for the rest of the arc.”

Vaster’s eyes widened. “Where did you…?” He tried to look into Balladine’s eyes, which still stared at a point to the left of his head, behind him. “Anyways, if we have the whole house to ourselves—”

“—You can help me feed my birds again.”